i'm not sure how to describe all that i'm learning about the ONE who loves me. simply put, i'm changing. i'm experiencing major heart surgery by the first and best HEALER.

i have heard that GOD is good, that HE is big. the problem is that i have always seperated the two characteristics. specifically, i have focused on the "bigness" of GOD. i have believed that HE is powerful enough to do whatever HE wants to. when i thought about HIS goodness, i thought, "wow, how amazing that this all-powerful GOD lets me be in relationship with HIM! HE can do whatever he wants with me!" how graceful GOD is that HE did work through me, even though i was kind of missing the point.

here's the truth. here's raw fact. GOD, the creator of the whole universe, of space and time, of the tiniest cells in our veins, wants to be in relationship with me. HE wants me to be in relationship with HIM. HE wants it more than anything else! HE wants every single person on the face of the planet----> every lost, lonely, poor, rich, miserable, tyrannical, selfish, confused, impure, unhealthy, fit, angry, depressed, loving, hateful individual in the entire world to be in perfect relationship with HIM--to have the same unity and love as the TRINITY!

don't believe me? check out john 17:20-23. "...i pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. may they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. i have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. i in them and you in me. may they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

a brand new state of mind.

                                                               MEET THE FAMILY!
(From left to right) Scotty, Anne, Ashley, Jerome, Emily, Andrew, Jess, Kayla, Whitney, Stefan, Me, Kiki, Kari


The past week has been truly incredible. It is amazing how much Jesus can download into when you open yourself up to Him--when you are willing to let Him have everything. Last week, Ari Sloots shared the importance of taking every single thought captive, as they have the power to determine your future. Every thought. This is hard work. Intentional. And so important. As I shared in my last post, our family has been learning how to hear the voice of God---in whatever way He chooses to speak: Scripture, others, words, pictures, visions, thoughts. The most common way that God often decides to speak is through our mind, in our thoughts. This is why the "renewing of our minds" that Paul describes in the Bible is so important. It is in our thoughts that our future is determined.
On Wednesday, our second speaker, Matt Rawlins and his wife, Celia, arrived for the second theme of the school: "The Character and Nature of God". Growing up in a Christian environment, it is easy to make assumptions about what speakers will teach on this topic. I expected to hear all about the omnicience and omnipotence of God. I expected to hear how He was huge and how we are small. I expected to hear that we are lucky He even considers us at all. I expected a lot of complicated theology and, I'll be honest, by the end of the three days that Matt was here (we finished up this afternoon) my brain sort of felt as if someone had hit it with a baseball bat several times......and then smooshed it into a very uncomfortable shape. But even so, Matt presented God's incredibly complex character with sweet simplicity: God is big enough and He is good enough.
That may sound too simple, but the more I reflect, the more I realize that this is the foundation on which the Kingdom of God rests. It is this principle that the Enemy attacks again and again. What better strategy exists to break down the Kingdom? Attack the individual's relationship with God by attacking the very nature and character of God. Isn't that the case when we feel far from our Creator? We hear whispers that God actually doesn't love us as much as we thought. He doesn't have our best intentions at heart and, in reality, He isn't all that trustworthy.
Again, this is where our thoughts become SO important! If we can learn to guard ourselves against those lies, we can open ourselves up to real God potential. A lifelong journey. This is just some of what I've learned so far....

Intercession, Morning Tea, and Hearing God?.....All in a Day's Work at YWAM!

Morning Tea--aka Cuppa Time!!!  (Kayla, Me, Whitney)

Week two is underway and so far it has been amazing! Each week we have a different speaker and this week it is Ari Sloots, a staff member on the Perth YWAM base on the west coast of Australia. This week has been "Hearing the Voice of God". It is only Tuesday and already God has spoken loads of truth and grace to our team through Ari. One of the things that I've taken away from his lectures so far is this idea that our thoughts about everything (ourselves, others, etc.) have the power to dictate our futures. Yes, God has a plan for us and yes He wants those plans to come into fruition, but He will never ever force them on us. Jesus warned the Pharisees so much about their inner lives because He understood that what we think affects our attitudes, which then affect our actions and our ultimate character.

So this morning, we each spent some time in prayer, asking God to shine a spotlight on those thoughts and attitudes that we hide inside of ourselves that only serve as a barrier between ourselves and Jesus Christ--those things that make it absolutely impossible to hear His voice. After that, we let some things go. It was really freeing to surrender our weaknesses, whether it be mistrust, fear, insecurity, pain, or whatever, in front of our team of students and staff. God was there and the enemy was binded.

An important aspect of our lives on base (though one that was basically foreign to me before I got here) is intercession. For anyone who is unfamiliar with it, as I was, intercession is simply praying for people other than ourselves. We follow a pattern on base while interceding:

1. Confessing Sin

2. Surrendering Self

3. Binding the Enemy from interfering/causing distraction

On Friday, we had base intercession. There are many people outside of my DTS that work for the base and twice a week we come together as one body ( Monday: worship; Friday: intercession). That morning, Bruce Skinner asked that we pray for Cambodia--a country broken by violence and low self-worth. We broke into groups and prayed through the first three steps. Then we were all quiet as we asked God to show us what He had on His heart for the people of Cambodia. What came next was very cool, as people began to share pictures that came to mind, verses that popped into their heads, and words that they just felt God had been laying on their hearts.

This morning, we had DTS intercession (where just the member and staff of the school attended) and we prayed for Sudan. I felt very distracted the whole time. Where things came to mind during the first intercession, nothing happened this morning. So I just began to pray for things I thought might sound good (not an awesome way to pray). But then, as intercession went on, and people began to share what God had been putting on their heart, I felt like God was telling me to just listen to what He was saying through others and to pray for that. I can never hear the voice of God if I'm not willing to listen. So I listened as the themes of justice and restoration sprang up again and again in every group. "Pray for this" I heard. And so that's what I did. And it was good.

 It's hard to articulate everything I'm learning in writing. Personally, I think that's why the Bible had to be inspired. There's no way, man could consistently express the gospel and it's effects so well. =)

I know I do this in nearly every blog...but I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for everyone who has supported me in this journey. Already, God is working on my heart and I know that after this six months, my life is going to look drastically different from who I was before. I have never been more excited about anything in my entire life!!! Thank you!!

I am still short about $4000 to cover the last bit of lecture phase and outreach phase (which takes off at the beginning of December). I need to raise this ASAP. If you are at all interested in supporting me, I would love to have be a part of my life and my journey in this season! Take a look at the "Support" tab above, or shoot me an e-mail with any questions at alyssa.eagen@gmail.com!

BrAnD nEw PoSt!!!! read it!! =D

Thank You Jesus for the prayers of all those at home!!!!! Everyone, you have NO idea how much your prayers have moved the heart of God! He is too good to me! This base is overwhelmingly amazing! All my team members feel like old friends--so far there is no conflict. Please continue to pray that this remains so! For the past two days, the students and staff of this DTS have been sharing their testimony and it has been so incredible to hear the stories of broken people who have been adopted into the family of Jesus Christ. There is NOTHING better than that!
Tomorrow I get to share how Christ has moved in my life since He took me in and I am really excited! I am part of a very vunerable group of students and staff members who long to just be in rythmn with the beating of God's heart. I'm not sure that I have ever been more challenged than that.
Yesterday afternoon, the team gathered up in our classroom and transplanted young plants (one for each staff member and student) into a large pot. The theme that the staff received from God for this specific school in this specific season was John 15 where Jesus says to His disciples, "I am the vine, you are the branches..." I encourage you to go read the passage as it is really incredible. The idea of a goup of young plants in one large pot was to represent our team as we grow in community with one another and learn to remain in Christ.

This week has been quite busy as students have been arriving, meeting one another, and getting introduced to staff members and life on the base. Next week, we will be in full swing and I am so excited to share with all of you how God is moving and providing! Please continue to pray for growth, spiritual protection over myself and my team, and that God would release the funds that I am still short of (about $3,850 USD).

If you sense a desire to support me financially, just check out the "Support" page in the upper right-hand corner! I would love to have you take on such a cool role in this journey! You won't believe how God blesses you for it too! Thank you all so much for taking time to check in with me! You are treasured by me.

I am here! Finally! YWAM Wollongong is in Shellharbour, Australia and it is really, really beautiful! But let me backtrack a little bit. My flights went extremely well, particularly the last leg from L.A. to Sydney--God blessed me with SLEEP! A huge answer to prayer! One of the girls on my team, Kiki, was on the same flight as I was and we were able to meet up in L.A. and go through the customs process in Australia together (which went wonderfully, except for a few seconds when a security misunderstood me when I asked if gum was okay to take in...he though I said gun....whoops! =S)

David Bell, the leader of our DTS, his wife Donna, and two staff members were there to greet us at the airport, along with several other students who had also arrived that day. Sunday was mostly devoted to keeping us awake by any means necessary--something I did not appreciate until I actually climbed into bed and fell right to sleep! Keeping me awake did allow time for a few intense games of dutch blitz!

This morning (Monday) we all got up after a good night's sleep, ate breakfast and then headed over to the main center for an incredible time of base-wide worship---a Monday morning tradition. It was a very intimate time and already it is so clear that God is working and ready for us. One of our leaders told us that as he worshipped, he got a picture in his head of a heart surgeon about to work on a patient and he sensed that God's desire for the members of this team was for us to allow Him to just work on our hearts so that we could truly fall in love with His.

Before we came, the leaders printed off our pictures and put them individually on chairs. Then they would go around and pray for us by name. As they did this, they received words and verses from God about each student. Last night, we were able to look at these. I wasn't going to share them as they are deeply personal  and precious to me, but the more I thought about, the more I realized that all of you who are praying and supporting me deserve to know exactly how God is working in me--how He wants to work in me. So I'm just going to be really vunerable and share with you. Hopefully, this will give you a better idea of how to pray for me as well!

These are the words that God gave the staff of YWAM for me:

Visionary

This will be a season of assurance.

You cannot be shaken or moved

Season of purpose. A woman of purpose.

Grace and joy

Compassionate one.

God trusts you with His heart and will tell you His plans and purposes.

For some of you, these may just be some amazing words for anyone--and they are! But for those of you who know me intimately, they probably mean more. These words present ideas and hopes that God has been revealing to me over the past few months, particularly. I am so excited to meet with God here! Please continue to pray for me in these next few months! I will share more later, but right now it's dinnertime!! Goodnight all!

In About 24 Hours....

In about 24 hours, I will be getting aboard a plane and flying away to experience an adventure that will change me. The closer I become the more anxious I feel (the good kind..with a few nerves thrown in for good measure..) I am really excited to spend some intimate time with God. I am really excited to meet other believers from all over the world! I am ready for my world to get much bigger!

The one thing I'm nervous about is going through customs. I've never done it before! =O Now, I absolutely love flying and there is something really special to me about traveling by myself. But before I get on any plane, I am always reminded that a large population of butterflies resides in my stomach. =) God is sooo good though. I think that God tells us not to be scared because He is able to see, not only the large terrors in our lives, but the small ones as well. He cares about even our little worries. He is so loving! He saw my fear of experiencing a brand new process alone and so He arranged it so that two other girls on my team will be at LAX the same time as me! So not only do I get to start building friendships early, but one of the girls is actually on my flight so we have to go through customs together!! Prayer = answered...as usual! =)

One thing that I am not nervous about right now is money. I about $1000 short for lecture phase, but God is good, and people have been overwhelmingly generous! Today I received a check in the mail $500 and I cried. God is so good and it is so amazing to experience Him working in the lives of others. These adults, some whom I barely know, who see my life as a worthy investment have no idea how encouraging they have been to me. Not only that, but I am being taught by example (the most effective teaching method) that generousity is straight from Jesus Christ and therefore to be practiced. I have been so challenged during this past month. It is amazing to me that God has provided so much for me in so little time...then again, why not?! =)

Thank you all who have prayed and/or supported me financially during my preperations. I cannot even begin to express to you how thankful I am! If you would like to support me, please click on the "Support" button on the right!

Keep praying!

Not Long Now......

If you are anything like me, then you are a visual person. Pictures can come in very handy when someone is trying to describe an image to you. A few weeks ago, one of our leaders on the base posted these pictures on our school's facebook page to give us a sort of virtual tour of our new home! I was really excited to see all the the different areas of the base and so I thought I'd post them on here to share with anyone who is interested in seeing where my team and I will be staying! = )

Yesterday (Sunday) I got the opportunity to share a little bit with my church family about what I'm going to be doing for the next six months. I was really nervous before I spoke, but as soon as I got up on the stage, my nerves disappeared and God took over the rest! Hallelujah!!!! =D One of the things I shared was that I am still short of the funds I need to get to Australia for the first phase. The body responded. Yesterday, I needed $2409 USD by Friday and today I only need about $1800 USD! God is GOOD.  Now that the midnight hour is drawing closer and closer, my trust in His promise to provide for this trip is soooo important! And, believe you me, it is being tested. Even though this faith test is rough, I would rather feel growth than none at all.

Before I end this post, I just want to thank everyone who has been SO incredibly generous financially! I have been blown away and completely overwhelmed as I experience people's desire to invest in my growth and that of the Kingdom. I do not deserve to be a part of such an incredible journey, but I am really grateful that I am and to all of you who assist in my growth. THANK YOU!!

Please continue to pray for me in these next 4 days. If you would like to support me this week, check out the "Support" link at the top of the page! Thanks again! =)

one of those sweet God stories that we love and remind us..."this is the God i serve!"

last friday was payday. whoo-hoo! the payoff to hours of washing dishes, waiting on customers, both patient and impatient, and dealing with dozens of little children crowding the counter had finally come (i actually enjoy my job pretty well, but at the end of of two weeks, i'm ready to see that paycheck) :). i don't usually talk about my tithes with other people, but it is an important part of the story so i will make an exception :). saturday night, i wrote out my check for sunday. i figured that my tithe would be about $35, so i wrote out the check. then, that quiet voice spoke. "how about $50?" it whispered. for a moment, i hesitated. i had been saving for YWAM for awhile. i wanted to be a good steward of my money... i decided to sleep on it.
sunday came, and still God spoke, asking for more. then it hit me. how could giving God what He was asking for show poor stewardship?! wasn't the money His anyway? so i wrote another check.  there were two checks ready to go. as the plate came around, i ripped out the check for $35. "what about $100?" the plate was coming closer and closer. "God, i don't have time to write another check" (looking back...i had time, but i didn't really think about giving it after service). instead, i ripped out both checks--$85 total. as i put them in the plate i prayed: "God, see my heart. if i had time to write the check for more. but please take this. please come through for me. what i'm giving You is a lot for me. if You want this, You need to come through. thank You!"

ready for this??
monday: a friend approached me about donating items to a garage sale i am having in the next couple of weeks.
tuesday: one of my co-workers asked if i would take a five-hour shift at work that he didn't really need. right after that corien shafer called and asked if i would take a birthday party that was happening right before that!
wednesday: corien gave me another party to work! i opened an envelope i got in the mail to discover a $500 donation for the DTS!! my friend dropped off tons of sweet items to sell. aaaannnddd....my visa was approved!!! 
thursday: i received another $150 donation!
friday and saturday: i was sick friday and it rained saturday, which ended all plans for a yard sale, which gave me more time to prepare and collect items to sell!! i received another $50 donation! :D on friday, i also received a note from some dear friends that simply said: God will provide. :D :D :D

i have been overwhelmed this week. i have been pursued and romanced by an incredible God. and i have been reminded of the amazing power and love of the ONE i serve. please be encouraged, and thank you all for your prayers and support!

.

the faith factor

i was listening to a sermon by erwin mcmanus this morning and he was retelling joshua's story of transition, after moses died. he spoke of how, as followers of Christ, we come to a point in our journeys where God will suddenly cut off all the safety harnesses and let us go--He tests our faith. i feel like that has been my story for the past year. unlike joshua, however, i've failed pretty miserably. the truth is that the amount of faith i had two years ago, wasn't enough for this past year. if you get right down to it, the faith we had to get us through yesterday, isn't enough to get us through today. that's how God works. He is constantly working on us--even if, like me, it takes awhile to learn the lesson He is trying to teach. this is what i am learning as i wait and pray for Him to provide everything i need for this fall. honestly, everytime i think about the amount of money i need to raise, i sort of start to fall apart. :( but God has surrounded me with amazing family and friends who speak words of encouragement to me--who remind me about the faithfulness of our God--of Jehovah Jireh, The Provider. Of El-Roi, The Strong One who sees. there is an amazing passage of Scripture that challenges me everytime i remember it. in proverbs 30:7-9, solomon writes

"two things i ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before i die: keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' or i may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

that is such a ridiculous prayer. seriously. it is completely counter-cultural. who would pray that? but then i remember, a child of God would. because that is the heart of God. that's what He calls us to. i'm struggling with that right now. some days it seems really easy..but those are usually the days when i can tangibly observe His incredible generousity. when that quiets down, i start to sweat a little bit. but as i look to the Word, my heart is calmed. please pray for me as i continue on this journey of growth. i know it is important, and my desire for Jesus is becoming desperate (which is the point, i think). :) pray that this desperation becomes only larger!

well, it is done! my visa is officially pending! according to the australian immigration office, 75% of all online visa applications are processed within 10-14 business days. i am praying very hard that mine falls into that group of 75%!

there is a part of me that has a very hard time believing that this whole thing is actually happening...the other part is just constantly working towards accomplishing the goal of getting there. that sounds a little strange, but it's true! i have people coming up to me constantly asking if i am excited. and of course i am! but i have to think very hard about it. it is a crazy thing--watching seemingly unattainable dreams turn into reality.